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| How to impress Clients
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the
corner, enjoying a drink.
I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle,
but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft
chairman, introduced myself,
and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor." "Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar,
"and I'm waiting for a very important client.
Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.
About ten minutes later, my client showed up.
We ordered a drink and started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
It Was Bill Gates. "Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."
| | |
| Bill Gates' Speech
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things
they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how
feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids
with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for
failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will
expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about
yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You
won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called
it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine
about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they
are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your
clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.
So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's
generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8:Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but
life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and
they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.
This doesn't bear the lightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off
and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do
that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually
have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one | | |
| Extremely Hillarrious
These are Girls ads taken from shaadi.com
These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no
place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after
reading this mail...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Swetha , I am single i dont have male, If any
one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education
but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart...
when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks
yours Regards Swetha ~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she
is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Homework?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. he may never
create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can
run smoothly. thank you
(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he should be good looking and should have a service. he Shoulsd have one
brother and one sister. he should be educated.
(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love
to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am
looking for my dreamboy who will love! me more than i. Because i love myself
a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........
hold
my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am simple girl.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i
amlooking oneboyhe caremeandloveme lot lot lot
(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My husband should be as 'Shiva' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as
in KSBKBT......
(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure she must be demanding too much,
ain't he?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while
steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF
GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN
GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH
ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing{laughing})
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom
and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would bde
called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the
patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering
from "Ok-syndrome")
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND
! 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK
(the "ok syndrome" again)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother
sister complity marred
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.
i
am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi
diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.
(actually what is this girl doing? Postal service or tailor.??)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Iwant one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he havea frank
he's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think
is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.
but
iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a
good girl. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.
(uttama purishinin)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.
(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i
divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good'. i expect the good
minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or o! ther caste
accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..???)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
(Zebra..???)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, boy simple who trust me lot should
be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.
(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable
(this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a bridegroom.
I wish her best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one
soon.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i would like a beautyfull boy. and i do not want his any treasure.
because boy is the maharaja.
(Now he is going to be a lucky boy! Any takers?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company wh! ich not paying
salary at present.
(Any takers again?)
| | |
| Top 21 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.
19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several
times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says
Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says
"Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing
it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by
which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll
the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in
US..."
| | |
| Try this, different way to search on the web.
http://yagoohoogle.com | | |
|
